Link to

  1. Link to Affirmation: instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they’ll experience because they weren’t taught competence instead.
  2. Link to Dedication: When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.
  3. Link to Distinction: Looking sharp is easy when you haven’t done any work.
  4. Link to Experts: We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.
  5. Link to Fairness: By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.
  6. Link to Fragility: Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.
  7. Link to Government: If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.
  8. Link to Hype: The power to get you excited about that which you know isn’t real.
  9. Link to Integrity: Play by the rules, get beat by those who don’t.
  10. Link to Irresponsibility: No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
  11. Link to Life Goals: Because a frozen, lifeless hellscape bathing in radiation is looking pretty good to me right now.
  12. Link to Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us.
  13. Link to Multitasking: The art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.
  14. Link to Negativity: What optimists call objectivity when they don’t like the message.
  15. Link to Politics: A nation divided against itself cannot stand to hear what those other lunatics are trying to say.
  16. Link to Sanity: Minds are like parachutes. Just because you’ve lost yours doesn’t mean you can borrow mine.
  17. Link to Underachievement: The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.